Burn
by Andra-ggfan
Summary: Jess and Rory don't get in a car crash that night. Instead, they go back to the diner and start talking about a book. The rest just rolls from there. Garcia Marquez and Neruda inspired two-parter. Complete.
1. Butterfly Effect

**A/N: Two-parter that started when I went on a South American literature binge a couple of months ago. Thanks go to the ever awesome LukeandLorelai Brucas Fan, for reading it and being far too nice to me. Second part will be posted tomorrow. **

* * *

**Butterfly Effect**

"_To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people…"_

It had all of course started that stupid night, with the stupid ice cream run. His shirt that made him look so good, his eyes, his teasing…He was infuriating and she loved it. Something had changed that night.

"Read anything good lately?"

"Jess, you promised!" She points her finger at him, accusingly, and he leans back in the chair, running his fingers through his hair slowly.

"Talking about books is almost like studying."

"Not unless you've been reading Shakespeare."

"I haven't."

"Then no dice, you have to study."

"How about we make a deal?"

"Jess!" She snaps at him, frustrated.

"Listen up, this is a good one."

"Fine, what's this great deal?"

"I have two tests this week. You talk to me tonight about books and I promise I'll get As in both of them."

"Forgive me for saying this, but ha!"

"Don't trust me?" He leans over to her, across the table, looking her straight in the eyes. Far too close for comfort.

"Luke didn't get you a tutor for nothing."

"No, he got me a tutor because he's an idiot. We both know I can do it."

"How about we study tonight, you pass your tests because of that and we talk about books on Saturday?"

"You'd give up your Saturday to talk books with me instead of being with your boyfriend? Huh." He smirks, making her angrier.

"Dean's busy." She lies quickly, trying to cover the fact that she hadn't even thought of him. "So? Deal?"

"No." He shakes his head, pretending to not notice the rapid blinking and soft blush.

"You're either doing this my way or I'm leaving."

"Oh, please, if you wanted to leave you would have a long time ago. Admit it, you're having fun."

"Jess!" She calls his name again, trying to glare at him and he smirks, opening his book.

"Fine, studying now."

"Thank you."

A few more quizzing sessions later, he looks at her, closing his book again.

"Break. I need coffee."

"Five minutes."

"Works for me." He stands up and walks behind the counter, turning the coffee machine back on. "So, have you been reading anything lately?"

"Will you actually put in an effort to pass your tests if I tell you?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"That's for me to know." He smirks at her from across the room and she shakes her head.

"You're not doing yourself any favors."

"You're avoiding answering my very simple question. I can go for more complicated ones, if you prefer."

"_Love in the Time of Cholera_." She decides to answer, her eyes following the movement of his arm as he pours coffee in the two mugs on the table. Muscles flexing slowly. Lines. Clean, strong lines. He catches her gaze and smiles, knowing she won't look up at him.

"You think she made the right choice?"

"What?"

"Marrying that guy instead of staying with Florentino."

"There wouldn't be much of a book if they'd been together from the beginning."

"Doesn't matter."

"He gave her a good life." She shrugs, biting her lip.

"He bored her."

"He kept her safe."

"He had no idea how to make her truly happy."

"He didn't hurt her."

"He was the cop-out choice."

"He was good to her, Jess. For her."

"Yeah, I'll give you that. He always was the one she should have been with."

"So you think she made the right choice?"

"I think…she should have given him a fair chance. She was too scared of him, of what he made her feel that she ignored the fact that he was equally scared but he would have tried his fucking hardest to make her as happy as he could."

"They would have never worked." She breathes out, slowly, painfully aware of the fact that she was scared. Terrified.

"She never even tried." He sips from his mug, looking straight into her eyes, not letting her look away before continuing. "She did what she thought she had to do, stuck to her stupid plan and ignored what she really wanted to do."

"She did what she thought was best. Her entire family, everyone she knew would have been hurt by her choosing Florentino over Juvenal. Yes, it was a safe choice to make, but it was a good choice."

"Yes. In many ways, probably the better choice. Because he would have hurt her at time, despite his best intentions."

"You can't hurt someone unintentionally."

"If you truly think that, then you're more innocent than I thought. Not all pain comes from maliciousness."

"The pain he would have caused her?"

"Incidental. Wrong place, wrong time."

"Worth it? In the long run…" She looks at him, taking a sharp breath. "Would the happiness have made up for the pain?"

"I don't know." He shakes his head slowly, wishing he had been able to lie to her at that moment and tell her it would have made up for everything. "Probably not."

"Would he have loved her more?"

"I don't know." He shrugs again. "Differently, yes. I'm not sure about the more."

"Then?"

"He would have made her live."

He looks into her eyes and she pauses, breathless.

"I…should go." She stands up, quickly gathering her books. "It's late and mom will kill me if I'm not home soon."

"What about studying?"

"Didn't you promise something? We…talked about books, didn't we?" She turns around to face him from the diner door and he nods slowly.

"Yeah, we did."


	2. It's history It's poetry

A/N: All the poems mentioned in this story were written by Pablo Neruda and can be found online. I'm borrowing the title from a J.D. Salinger quote. Thank you for the reviews.

* * *

**It's history. It's poetry. **

"_Love is a war of lightning,__  
__and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness."_

One seat.

In the whole damned diner, one seat.

At the counter. In front of him.

Breathe.

She sits down, dropping her backpack at her feet and looks at him.

"Yes."

"Can I get coffee, please?"

"With or without a lecture on how it's going to kill you by the time you're 40?" He smirks, putting the receipt in his hand down and grabbing a mug instead.

"I only take my lectures from Luke."

"I'm sure I can do a decent impersonation."

"Test your future stand-up comedian skills some other time, please, I need caffeine now."

"Oh, you said please…" He drops the mug in front of her on the counter and picks up the coffee pot instead, waving it around. "That means it's serious, right?"

"Jess!" She snaps at him, trying to hide her smile. She's always trying to hide smiles when he's around.

"Jeez, what is it with you today?" He starts pouring the coffee in her mug, looking at her.

"Long day."

Putting the pot back in the coffee machine, Jess grabs a slice of pie and puts it on a plate, sliding it in front of her. "Here."

"Thanks."

He just picks up the receipts again, standing in front of her. She pulls out her book, poking her pie with a fork and taking a bite out of it, smiling gratefully.

"What are you reading?" He asks after minutes of silence, not looking away from his receipts.

"Poetry."

"Thank you, I hadn't noticed." He smirks, lifting one eyebrow. "I was looking for something more specific than that."

"Does it matter? You don't like poetry."

"I'm bored. Believe it or not, organizing receipts isn't exactly the most stimulating thing in the world."

"You can go serve coffee, maybe that's better."

"The diner's empty."

"What?"

He points and she turns, looking around her.

"When did this happen?"

"Afternoon lull."

"Seriously?"

"No, I made them all disappear with my magic powers."

She smiles, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiles back.

"Read out loud."

"What?"

"I'm bored. There's nothing to do."

"Get your own book."

"Luke took it from me. Something about spending too much time reading and ignoring customers."

"Jess, you have more than one book."

"Luke's upstairs. He'll kill me if I don't stand here, doing nothing."

"You really want me to read out loud?"

"You seem to be enjoying your book. Go on, give it a try. Maybe you'll convert me to poetry."

"Pft!" She snorts, looking at him. "Sure I will."

"How little faith you have in your powers."

"You've expressed your views about poetry in the past. Vehemently, I might add."

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm bored. Either make conversation or read, I don't care."

"What am I, your pet monkey?"

"I don't know, will you do a little dance if I ask you to?" He chuckles, the thought of her dancing for him seeping into his brain.

"I'm an awful dancer."

"I'm sure that uniform would make it good." He points out and she blushes, looking down. "Are you ever going to start reading?" He asks, picking up his receipts again and starting to look through them, mindlessly. She starts reading, her voice soft and rhythmic.

"_...Kiss by kiss I cover your tiny infinity,_

_your margins, your rivers, your diminutive villages,_

_and a genital fire, transformed by delight..."_

Slamming the book shut, she looks at him, blushing furiously and he chuckles at her embarrassment.

"You had to stop just when it was getting good."

"I…uh…" She hesitates, angered by his laughter. "You can finish reading it yourself!" Drinking from her cup, she avoids his eyes, hoping the redness in her cheeks will go away.

"You don't have to hide it." He states again after a few seconds of silence, looking at her.

"What?"

"You've been with Dean for what? A year and some change? I don't think anyone would be terribly surprised or disappointed if you knew what this guy was talking about."

"What?" She finally looks at him, understanding what he was trying to say, blood rushing to her face again.

"I mean Mrs. Kim probably wouldn't be terribly pleased, but no one would think less of you for sleeping with the boyfriend you love so much."

She doesn't notice his sarcasm, instead lowers her eyes, chewing on her lip. "Dean and I…haven't…uh…you know."

"Seriously? What, he can't get it up?"

"We just didn't!" She snaps back at him, angry. "I'm sure that he…uh, works just fine, not that it's any of your business."

"Then? Why not?" He pushes again, hoping she won't run away.

"I don't know."

"You're not one of those freaking crazy 'I'm going to be a virgin until I get married' people, are you? I mean seriously, you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, but that you're going to just say 'oh, I'm sure it'll be just fine'."

"Actually, yes, I am." She tries not to laugh, seeing his expression change.

"I…didn't mean it like that. I mean…it's nice…if that's what you want?" He looks at her, seeing her biting her lip in an attempt to stifle giggles. "Not nice."

"What?" She bats her eyelashes innocently.

"Making me sweat like that."

"It's fun."

"Oh, good, you're having fun." He chuckles, running his hand through his hair. "But seriously?"

"No. I think people should…how'd you put it? Test drive their partner before committing to them for life."

"Why not Dean then?" He pushes his luck again and her smile fades. "I'm honestly curious."

Shrugging, she looks at him, her teeth biting her lip at the same time. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it before now."

"Ok." He nods, filling her coffee cup again.

"I should have, right? I mean, we're teenagers and we've been dating for ever in teenage years and isn't this unusual? Sex is the only thing that's supposed to be in our minds!"

"I didn't mean to freak you out." Jess lifts his hands in the air. "Or imply anything."

"I'm just…why?" Shaking her head quickly, she lets out a breath. "Sorry, I'm thinking out loud."

"It's ok."

"It's probably just a case of never being the right place or time to think about that." She hesitates, her voice almost asking him for answers and he takes a deep breath.

"Or the right person."

Before she has a chance to reply, Luke appears next to them, throwing a small order pad at Jess.

"That guy in the corner says he's been here for 5 minutes. Ever going to go do your damned job?"

Looking away from Rory, he nods, grabbing a pen from the counter and going to the man's table. Glancing out the window, he sees her rushing down the street, her coat half open and shakes his head before taking the order.

* * *

"_I go from loving to not loving you,__  
__From waiting to not waiting for you__  
__My heart moves from cold to fire."_

"You left your book." He nods as a greeting, dropping the book on her table. "The other day."

"What'd you think of it?"

"Who says I read it?" He smirks, making her shake her head and laugh.

"Sure. I'll buy that you had a book in your hand and didn't read it."

"I put some notes in it for you."

"Any favorites?" She asks, glancing at the counter quickly to see her mother talking to Luke.

"Not really." He shakes his head. "Still poetry."

"Oh, go on."

"There were a few good ones, I'll admit that."

After a few seconds of silence, she tilts her head, smiling. "Well? Ever going to tell me what you liked?"

"Maybe." He chuckles. "What's your favorite?"

"_I do not love you_." She bites her lip, looking at him. Not knowing if the innocent words were a lie.

"Decent."

"Oh, go on, your turn." Rory smiles at him, her blue eyes widening as her lips start to pout, trying to convince him and he shakes his head.

"_Sonnet XI_."

"The one that starts with…"

"I crave your mouth." He smirks, making her blush again.

"Also good."

"Well, you like the guy. I could have picked any poem and you still would have liked it."

"Probably."

"Hoodlum, not that I don't appreciate you standing here empty handed, but can you get us more coffee?" Lorelai interrupts their conversation, sitting back down in her seat and glaring at him.

"Sure." He replies coldly, heading back towards the counter.

"So your little tutoring session the other night helped."

"Hm?" Rory looks at her mother, her fingers running across the book cover.

"Luke was just telling me that the little punk got two As in his tests last week. The principal called to tell him."

"Good."

* * *

"_About me, nothing worse__  
__they will tell you, my love__  
__than what I told you."_

"Why didn't you tell me?" She smiles as she sits at the counter the next day, checking her watch to make sure she wasn't going to be late for her date with Dean.

"Why didn't I tell you what?"

"You got the two As."

"I figured it didn't matter."

"You kept your promise." She looks at him as he pours her coffee, her smile growing bigger.

"Don't say that out loud, you'll ruin my reputation."

"Thank you." She looks into his eyes and he nods, leaning over the counter.

"Why? You didn't think I did it for you, did you?" He almost whispers but she hears him, blushing as she bites her lip.

"I just…figured after…that night…you might have…because you said…"

"I only did it to get Luke and the principal off my back. That's it." He pulls back, smirking as he crosses his arms over his chest and watches her.

"I…uh…good." She finds her words again and looks at him. "This works best for everyone."

"Well, I don't know about that, I'm the one that had to actually show up to school at those ungodly hours."

"Oh, poor you." She laughs softly, sipping from her mug.

"I know, right? It was terrible."

"You have to keep it up, Jess. Otherwise this wouldn't have meant anything."

"What do I get?"

"What do you want?"

"Oh, dangerous." He smirks, looking straight into her eyes. "You sure you're willing to risk asking me what I want?"

"Jess…" She smiles, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"I'll take that as a no."

"I should go." She motions to her watch, her smile fading. "I'm supposed to meet Dean."

"Give me two seconds." He rushes behind the curtain as she watches him, only to reappear a minute later, throwing her a book. "Here."

"What's this?"

"I found a different Neruda book at a sale. It has more poems than your copy."

"Thanks."

"I recommend _The Question_."

"Wait, are you actually saying you read and enjoyed this enough to recommend something?"

"Don't sound so surprised." He smirks, pointing with his head towards the door. "You should go, wouldn't want to keep your boyfriend waiting."

"I'll see you around, Jess."

"Have fun." He replies sarcastically and she shakes her head, picking up the book and heading for the door.

* * *

"_I want you straight as__  
__the sword or the road."_

"What the hell were you thinking?"

She storms in the empty diner, throwing the book in her hand at him.

"You think this is funny?"

Throwing the rag in his hand on a table, he looks straight into her eyes, the faintest knowing smirk on his lips.

"I don't think Neruda is meant to be funny. And that's my book you're abusing." He points to the book, trying to anger her even more.

"God, Jess, you can't pull stuff like this! I have a boyfriend I love! You can't give me that, not after the past couple of weeks and then just…what were you thinking?"

"It's a poem. Get over it." He replies simply and they both know he's lying.

"Oh, please." She snorts, looking at him, even angrier. "It wasn't in my head."

"What wasn't?" He decides to push her even more, making her bite her lip.

"You can't pretend we were only talking about that stupid book last week."

"Weren't we?" He answers her, his voice as cold as hers and she takes a small step back.

"Were we?" She returns his question, breathless.

"Do you want us to have been?"

"Just…answer me." She pleads with him, her eyes glued to his.

"I don't know." Jess just shrugs, picking up his rag again and going back to cleaning the table. "It's your call."

"I'm with Dean." She whispers, clinging to the words like they were her last chance for salvation. Like she was sinking and they were her life vest.

"So you keep saying. I need to finish closing up." He doesn't even look at her, continuing to scrub the table, more furiously than before, waiting for the bell to ring as she leaves.

"We're not done talking." She keeps looking at him, not moving from her place.

"What the fuck more is there to say?" He finally snaps, throwing the rag again. "You're with Dean. You've made that fucking point clear enough. I get it. Everyone gets it."

She recoils at his anger, taking the smallest of steps back, unconsciously. "What do you want from me, Jess?"

"I don't know."

"Shocking." She whispers, bitterly, looking at him. "Stop messing with my head." She barks at him and her tone infuriates him even more. Stepping closer to her, until there's almost no space between their bodies, he looks straight into her eyes, clenching his fists at his sides, trying to calm himself down.

"Let's get one thing clear here. You read what you wanted to read into that poem. I never said anything other than I recommend it. So before you so quickly accuse me of messing with your head, how about you consider that, okay?"

He stares into her eyes for a few seconds before taking a step back, the room suddenly too small for both of them to be in it at the same time. Too little oxygen. Blood rushing through him too fast.

When her lungs start hurting, she remembers to breathe. She lowers her eyes, too many things hitting her at once. Too many emotions. Forcing herself to continue breathing, she looks at him again. Anger forgotten as the realization hits her.

"This is what you meant."

"What?" He laughs, because it makes no sense to do anything else and the sound relaxes them both for an instant.

"Live. I get it."

"No, you don't. Not yet."

"Then make me get it." She dares him, her eyes never leaving his.

He nods once, almost imperceptibly and closes the distance between them, his face cupping her hand and his mouth covering hers before she has a chance to protest. His lips, soft, touching hers, sending jolts through her entire body. She can't think, can't breathe, can't do anything but stand powerless as he moves even closer, not leaving her mouth, making her heart beat a million times a minute. His tongue slips out and touches her bottom lip and she moans, unaware until then of the fact that she could make that sound. Clinging with her hands to his shirt, she tries to keep herself from falling as he explores her mouth. Knees weak.

He pulls away too quickly, a small smile on his lips.

"Live." He whispers, his hand playing in her hair.

"Burn." She counters, smiling.

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispers after a few seconds, serious.

"I know." She nods, her mouth touching his briefly. Another jolt going through her.

After another long pause, he takes a deep breath, his thumb tracing her bottom lip. "Is that enough?"

"It'll have to be." She laughs softly because there is nothing more she can do. "I have something to do."

"Ok." He nods as well, letting go of her and she grumbles quietly, making him smirk.

"Goodnight, Jess. I'll see you tomorrow." She smiles, closing the door quickly behind her.

* * *

"_Tie your heart at night to mine, love,__  
__and both will defeat the darkness"_

One seat.

In the entire diner. One seat.

This time, she takes it happily.

"Coffee?" He offers, already pouring some into a mug.

"Thank you." As he pushes the mug towards her, his fingers slide across her hand and she looks down, stopping his hand before he can move it away. "It's done."

Watching their hands, together, he realizes what she means.

"So…what now?" She mumbles wearily, suddenly scared.

Brushing her hand with his thumb, he looks straight into her eyes and smiles.

"Now we burn."


End file.
